Sunday, June 10, 2012

Bad News on Top of Bad News


I got a bunch of cards in the mail today. That was cool.  I got a funny card from Becky.

We also got news in the mail that has made me sick to my stomach and KJ is foaming at the mouth. The insurance company sent a notice that they will no longer cover his treatments as they aren't helping. Uh yeah ...it does help. * sarcastic*  It's not a cure, it's a treatment. And it allows him to keep working. So on top of my own struggles I have to call his neurologist tomorrow to find out what is going on. And how we can appeal this. KJ won't be able to work without use of his right arm. However he HAS to continue working until this cancer treatment is finished. I can hardly breathe this makes me so sick.

 Sally:  is the insurance company his DOCTOR?????????   How do they know it's not helping????????????????  praying for you  

Carla:  Rosey, I'm behind on my reading but wanted to tell you that I love you and am praying for you.

Shelley: I can't believe this insurance company can do that, and I hate that it causes extra stress for you guys who have to take care of it! I will pray that the neurologist’s office can take care of it quickly and painlessly. I'm sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. I noticed in another post you talked about being tired from the emotional toll of it all, I am paraphrasing, can't remember exactly, but anyway, I can certainly see how that would be true. I will be praying for God to give you extra strength and for these things to be taken care of and stop stressing you out. Prayers for KJ too, lots of them! For his body, for his treatments to continue, for his work, for his emotions, for his stress, everything, and for the Spirit to intercede and pray for all the things I can't even think of to pray.  Love you guys!

Rosey:  Thanks guys. Your fiery red mad faces gave me a laugh. Cell phones don't give you emoticon choices. So I forget you have them. It's a surprise when I see one.

My sister sounded a little snarky in her message back. She claims she didn't realize she was revealing something PERSONAL.   So she will not post anything else about me. :(  She's a nurse.  I know she has to realize that a person's medical condition is extremely personal.  I don't want general John Doe talking about my breasts because he saw on her wall that I have cancer!  I am just giving it over to God.  I can't do anything else.

I sent another message stating again that I appreciated her request for prayer. But while people may debate whether it was personal or not....it was private. I don't want my condition discussed over the internet if I haven't mentioned it on my wall. I pointed out that although I posted about seeing an oncologist....I didn't discuss his findings. Because it's private to me and because I think the general public only wants to hear about cancer in general terms.  I'M still trying to come to terms with it myself.  I didn't need to open up facebook and find the details on my wall...when I wasn't ready to put them there.  Plus I think it's painful to hear that someone you know has cancer with all the hairy details. 

You guys are being so good to me. Letting me say whatever I need to say. You aren't running from it or giving me platitudes. Many of you are praying for me but you aren't just praying and running. You offer input and encouragement. I'm getting so much more support than I expected from all of you who are hundreds of miles away. Jason and Marcia have been taking me to my numerous appointments. But there's a lot of silence from other friends. They say let me know if there's something I can do. Which usually means "oh please dear god, don't bother me." I've learned already the ones who really want to help will ask...what can I do to help you?   That's a question I can answer.

Still waiting for return calls from the neurologist, it usually takes them a while.

Having Cancer is hard when you still have
 to deal with the rest of the world


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